How to Love Yourself Through a Breakup

By: Emily Field ’20

Going through a breakup is hard, regardless of who you are with or how long you were in that relationship. Breakups are exhausting, emotional, tough and just overall miserable. When going through a breakup you feel lonely, isolated, unloved, and a different array of emotions. With all these feelings and emotions, you can lose the sense and sight of who you really are. Even though it is hard, you have to take a step back and focus on all the good things in your life. Surround yourself with friends and family, focus on current hobbies/interests, and overall find time to love yourself. 

Here are some ways to help anyone going through a breakup focus on the good in their life:

  • Know your worth
    • Know you are enough; This is so much easier said than done, but reminding yourself that you are good enough for love is the key to diminishing those feelings of hopelessness. 
  • Don’t compare yourself to anyone else
    • We are all on different walks of life. Just because one couple is flourishing does not mean that your relationship should have been doing the same. Remember to follow what is best for you and your timing in life. 
  • Think about all of your blessings in life
    • Even in the worst times, there is always one thing you can be thankful for. Look to your friends, family, that quiet place you go to escape, anything really that gives you a moment of relief.
  • Surround yourself with people who love you
    • Those things you’re grateful for? Surround yourself with them, especially if they are people. Lean on those who are looking out for you and let them help you through it all. Also, remember that distractions are helpful. Go on ice cream dates with your friends and spend time with family to keep your mind off it all when you need to.
  • Be present
    • Practice mindfulness, meditate, and take some time to relax. This is one of the best ways to keep your mind at ease to focus on setting new goals in this next chapter of life
  • Take your time, be sad, feel your emotions & pay attention to them 
    • Let yourself feel everything so you don’t bottle it all up, but remember that you have to move on eventually. Allowing yourself to feel at the offset will make it easier to address those feelings and move forward later on.
  • Know that you’re not alone
    • Unfortunately, heartbreak is not uncommon, and everyone goes through it in different ways. But, the good news is, there are so many survivors of heartbreak who come out on the other side better people. You’ll get there, too.
  • Cut out all forms to toxicity in your life (block, unfollow, detox)
    • This is so important! You don’t need a constant reminder of your relationship on your phone. Do whatever you have to do to cut that person from your life for the time being so you can actually see what your life is like without them. I know its hard, but trust me, its for the best.  
  • Be happy, and have a positive outlook on life
    • You just have to remind yourself that it is going to be okay. You will come out of this a stronger person, you just have to give yourself the time.

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